Duplicity Inbox

[collateraldamaging]

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delivery

[adultflash]

[Kazu and Val get a joint Valentine's day delivery with a note that says "Happy Valentine's Day, <3 Barry". It's probably big enough it will take them a couple of days to eat the whole thing.]

text; un: shogun

[collateraldamaging]

I keep trying to make a size joke but can't quite come up with one that makes sense in this context.
So I'm just going to ask if you sent us such a huge cookie hoping we'd invite you over to help eat it.

[adultflash]

Size doesn't matter but more is still better? ;)

I mean I wouldn't be opposed to sharing it with you, but it really is just for you.

[collateraldamaging]

"Impressive, but more difficult and less fun than lots of smaller ones" maybe?

Pretend it was a better joke.
And either way, thank you.
Do you have anything planned for tonight?

[adultflash]

I mean, I think trying to eat ridiculously huge things is fun in a totally different and more messy way.

Better joke assumed!
I don't, actually. I've been feeling a little off lately. Not that I'm opposed if you have something in mind.

[collateraldamaging]

What do you mean you're feeling off?

[adultflash]

Well, I sort of died again. A little bit. Not like the first time, I was up again a few days later. It's just been kind of rough. [at least he's being honest about that?]

[collateraldamaging]

[ ...Barry, do you even TRY to avoid dying? At all? A little bit? Do you CONSIDER maybe trying to avoid death? Kazu sighs, shakes his head, and finally replies. ]

Do you need to talk about it?

[adultflash]

[He didn't do it on purpose! But you know, it definitely happens more than it should.]

I'd like that, if you don't mind. The difficult part is that my dominant is the one who killed me. She didn't mean to, obviously.

[collateraldamaging]

Why don't you come by the Back Door? I need to go in to prep things for tonight, though we don't expect to get many people.

[adultflash]

I can help if you need it, but I'll be there in a minute.

[More like seconds, but you know. He's there in a flash, dressed way more casually than the last time he saw him.]

[collateraldamaging]

[ Of course he is. No one's judging his outfit at the moment, though. The door is locked, the lights are out. Barry also managed to beat Kazu's reply. ]

Barry
I'm not there yet
you ridiculous instant noodle of a man.

[adultflash]

Oh. Well it's not my fault you're so slow. ;)

Can I let myself in? I promise I won't eat all the food.

[collateraldamaging]

Yes, go ahead.
Just this once, and make sure you don't turn on the outside lights.

But I am not slow.
You are ridiculous.

[adultflash]

You got it, boss. [did he just hire himself? nahhhh, but he's gonna putter around and clean/set things up/whatever, don't mind him.]

Slowwwwwwpoke.

[collateraldamaging]

You are not making me want to move any faster.
I might see how slowly I can get there, actually.
What is the record for slowest commute?

[adultflash]

You know, the slower you move the more havoc I'll wreak in here. I might even start cooking.