collateraldamaging | Duplicity Inbox

[ All right. He can work with that--

and relate to some of it, though Scott's more likely to shut most emotions down or push them away, while also pushing people away. Turn it into a slower burn anger and anxiety that he channels, but-

That's for another day.

He pushes himself up to stand, and moves toward the bag himself. Doesn't immediately hit it, though.]

All right, then let's try to break it down. [ He nods at the bag.] Did physical release help.

[ The continued line of questioning seems to confuse Kazu, his brow furrowing slightly as he watches Scott come back towards him. This isn't how people besides Val respond to his shitty behavior. It just isn't. It's not that no one's ever been helpful before, but when he's actively lashing out? Everyone just scolds or punishes him for it and that's that. They don't stick around to help him work through things after, unless they're Val.

Scott is hitting a weird combination of buttons right now and he really doesn't know how to process that either. Which is at least distracting him from his anger, a bit. ]

A little? I don't feel better, but it was kind of satisfying.

[ He shifts his weight awkwardly, then moves forward to take a turn holding the bag because at least he'd be doing something. ]

...you don't have to do this.

[ Scott doesn't really need to be using the bag right now, but it gives Kazu something to do and keeps conversation from being too..focused.

That feels like a good idea, anyway. ]

You're clearly pretty trained in fighting, and good at it. Do you have a specific style, or do you just do what it takes?

[ yes, he knows it wasn't an answer, he's... still trying to gather information and ultimately help finds things that might be useful. Kazu said he was right about needing something, so Scott is... going to do his damndest to help find something. ]

[ Not answering kind of is an answer, in this case. It's very much like Scott to ignore the feels-y end of things, but he's advancing the conversation rather than ending it.

Kazu can read between the lines enough to realize that means for some reason, Scott wants to do it anyway. ]

I... it's complicated. Originally my style was developed from many disciplines, to the end of doing the most damage possible.

[ That's definitely not the case now, even if he was still the team's tank... but why his style changed so dramatically requires explanation. ]

[ Yeah, the answer there would just be that he knows he doesn't have to, but also that if he can he wants to. Analyzing that down would get harder. Some emotional drives.

He takes that answer in, and then nods, very slightly. Aims a precise, dead center, strike to the bag with his left, followed by his right. ]

Originally. What's your style now? What do you lean into?

[ The accuracy is impressive. Kazu himself wasn't really bothering to be on his turn, but he notes it. And absorbs the impact of Scott's hits easily, the bag hardly moving. ]

Do you remember when I explained about Holons and how we upload our minds to be able to fight in them?

[ There was a lot going on for Scott when they had that conversation and the upload itself wasn't the point of bringing it up, but it's necessary context. ]

[ There's some real force behind it, but accuracy is just how Scott rolls - with fists or the optic blast. He finds a rhythm to work with now that he's given Kazu a feel for things. Keeps it simple in rhythm and variation. ]

Yes.

[ Clearly and completely. Spatial awareness problems with it. ]

There are other benefits to uploading besides a Holon's capabilities... I also mentioned that the project wasn't originally meant for military use. Dr Weller saw it as a way to evolve humanity by connecting people, mind to mind.

[ That's the part of things Kazu truly misses, and Scott might be able to hear that in his voice as he explains. ]

Our team mindshared regularly. We were always networked, yes, but in those moments we weren't just fighting together, we were one. I don't know how to describe it because it was much more than just sharing... senses, skills, emotions, memories... they are also yours. It was terrifying at first, until I realized that for all it changes you nothing is ever lost. There were things I would have preferred stay private, but protecting my family was more important.

So I still fight like myself, but also like all of them, even when we're not connected. Because they are part of me now. Does that make any sense?

That gets a laugh out of Scott - not mocking or mean, but really soft, even through the rhythm of breath and strikes against the bag. "The most meaningful relationships I've ever had had been with a telepath. The good ones were really good and close to that, though boundaries and individual sense of self-stayed."

Meaning, as he pauses. "Yeah, it makes sense."

[ Oh. Kazu blinks, obviously surprised -- he knew from Akihiro's response to the explanation that there are psychic abilities in their world that match up, but wouldn't have thought Scott of all people would want to let someone in like that. ]

You?

[ Whoops.

Now he looks very embarrassed, both that he went on about it so poetically in the first place and that he just blurted that out. ]

Er-- I didn't mean it that way...

[ That absolute blurt of response is kind of a delight, actually. ]

Yeah. It's kind of complicated, but it's also not. The first couple of telepaths I knew were... not great experiences, but Jean was another teenager wrestling through her shit and the mental connection was a way I could connect.

[ That does make sense when Scott explains it. Kazu nods, still a little embarrassed but also. Uh.

Jean his wife Jean?

Jean who's here Jean?

Is a telepath who can establish that sort of link?

...there's no appropriate way to suddenly be even more interested in meeting Scott's wife, so he's just going to stay quiet and hope that comes off as normal post-blurt awkwardness. ]

[ Scott has no idea what that silence is, assumes he has screwed something up socially and backs away from the bag and Kazu. ]

Similar thing with the girlfriend that came after her, but also different. Both of my kids are telepaths. So was the guy who raised me after 16. And the first guy who raised me, but that's... a different relationship altogether.

[ He's not babbling but he's stilted and... anxious. ]

[ Oh no, now they're both being awkward... what does he do if the silence is what's making Scott uncomfortable? He can't just ask if Jean could link other people, that's potentially very creepy, but now it's literally the only thing he can think of to say! Quick, say something, Kazu-- ]

Right, it's not always a sex thing.

[ Oh god, someone please just kill him. Again. ]

[ What is happening and why is it happening and now he's thinking about Sinister and sex and Charles and-

He stops with the bag. ]

It's rarely about sex. Sometimes it's about sex. Sometimes it's about trust. Sometimes it's utilitarian communication. Sometimes it's familial. Sometimes it's romantic. Sometimes it's the most god awful thing imaginable. A lot depends on the person on the other end.

No, I-- I know all that, obviously.

[ He panicked and blurted out what he was thinking, which was that he shouldn't say anything to make it seem like he'd be asking Jean for a sex thing.

Even though it has definitely been a sex thing.

....stop thinking about it as a sex thing for fuck's sake. He might as well ask what he wanted to in the first place, at this point. ]

I'm sorry, I was trying not to make it weird by asking about her abilities. And if you think she might ever be willing to use them-- see, there's no good way to put this. [ He huffs, then tries again. Use your words, Kazu. ] I guess it would be recreationally? We just... miss it a great deal, to communicate certain things.

[ Scott may have noticed he struggles to discuss his feelings. Just maybe. ]

[Scott stares, largely expressionless for a full ten seconds while he processes all that.

...then shrugs one shoulder. ]

She likes helping people and I'm sure she'd be happy to help. I have no idea if she could do it without being somewhat involved or how long she could maintain that sort of third party link, but she isn't going to be upset by asking and will be thrilled to do her best to give you as much as she can.

I wouldn't mind her being involved, but--

[ He doesn't want to say Val might and imply his partner has anything to hide, so stops to rephrase. It's a small chance anyway. Kazu is fairly certain they'd both give quite a bit to feel anything like that connection again. ]

Whatever she might be able to do, we'd be grateful. But I also very much want to meet her regardless.

Meet her.

[ There's a faint tone of amusement, there. ]

You don't need a formal introduction and you won't be the first people I've sent to her who might be able to use her help.

And she'll understand the problem better than usual right now.

...I'm not sure what you mean by that.

I explained that she's here from years in my past and just after her own death, right?

Yes. That doesn't make "right now" any clearer to me, though.

That was a start of a point with a pause for clarification, confirmation, or questions.

[ Someday, they'll work it out, maybe. ]

I'd mentally retreated pretty far before her death. We're better now than we were, but the mental link still isn't there - largely by my choice at this point.

Oh.

[ Where does he start with unpacking that? Clarification, maybe. ]

Were you still together at that point?

It was really complicated then and it's not less complicated now. The relationship was effectively dead, but it wasn't officially over.

[ Best he can do to clarify, honestly. It was -]

It was right after they thought I was dead , but I was actually sharing my body with 5,000 year old evil.

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